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  • Emily schaye

Why Do we Self Love?

Throughout life we go through changes. We go from newborn to baby to toddler and we grow taller and gain weight because we have to; because it’s a sign that we are growing and thriving. There is even a label put on babies who don’t: “failure to thrive.” Somewhere along that journey, that weight gain stops being a sign of growth and thriving and turns into something that our fat-phobic society deems unacceptable. It starts with a simple, unassuming “you look really healthy.” The thing is though, that’s nobody’s place to determine other than you. Even doctors use the antiquated BMI scale to determine if you are in the “obese-range” which was actually created in the 1830’s as an academic exercise by a Belgian Mathematician, not a doctor. It was never devised to test the range of obesity rather to find the “average man.” So what does all this mean? It means that when you look in the mirror every day, and you choose to declare that on one particular day you in your eyes and mind, have gotten fat and you determine that on that day you are going to love yourself a little less all because of misinterpretation of an antiquated idea.

Your body has gotten you this far. Its survived, its protected, its healed and the you that you are today is no less loveable than the you that you were two days ago, one year ago, 5 years ago. They are all equally loveable and we need to start remembering to stop asking ourselves how we look in pictures, how the world is perceiving us and instead ask the much more relevant question, how do we FEEL? You cannot hate your body into submission. You cannot belittle it into eating healthier, you cannot shame it into running that mile or lifting those weights or even moving. Instead, you can love it, in its entirety and begin making choices that will benefit the way that you FEEL. Choose to move because if you start to move, your blood might start flowing and you might be less stiff. You might have less pain. You might be able to breathe a little better and here is the kicker, choose to do it because you LOVE yourself, not because you hate yourself. Do it because you might be eating the bad food because you are grieving or overworked or tired and trying to sustain the impossible schedule you have to keep to make ends meet. Do it because you are trying to be super-mom or super-dad, or super-daughter or son and you deserve to take care of yourself too not just those that you love. Do it because you cannot fill from an empty cup and because you deserve this reward not this punishment but as a reward.

Love the Skin that you are in and do it because you matter too much to have to go through one more day feeling like you deserve those aches and pains because you put a cookie in your mouth. Do it to heal not to hurt and maybe, just maybe if you begin to love yourself and allow yourself the time and healing that you need and that you DESERVE, you can begin to heal yourself because you of all people are equally if not more loveable today than you were every other day you are comparing yourself to. We will move forward from LOVE, not hate and start to rebuild our confidence which in turn will build a better you. Just never stop forgetting to ask yourself how you feel rather than how you look and though it may seem unconventional, this will ultimately save your life. I hope you join this community so we can help reward all your hard work of surviving up until this point. It’s worth it but you don’t have to hate yourself through the process of getting healthy.

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